You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
