The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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