i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
