Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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