i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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