it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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