This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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