Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
