Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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