I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The ass gains better be worth it
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