So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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