Acid is not a monday night drug
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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