is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
