We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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