Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
