Im at strip club and am horny
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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