if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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