I got chris browned last night
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I want to fling myself into the sun
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
