ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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