I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
