i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
