He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
