you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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