My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
