can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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