i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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