I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
