I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
