dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I have post one night stand depression
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