i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
