Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
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hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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