i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
