I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
