Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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