I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My penis needs a shock collar
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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