hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
