we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
