is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
