How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
