Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
