Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
