I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
