my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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