All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
