is wine microwaveable?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
