batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
