i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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