shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize