nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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