At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
