she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
