glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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