at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
