i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
