Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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