there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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