So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
