Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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