Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
