dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
