I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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