in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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