Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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