Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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