And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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