From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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