i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
