he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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