some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
