she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
