we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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